the graveyard: sick

Saturday, August 26th 2012


for you Blournal. this is a story that I've known for two minutes. a story about a little boy who might have lost his true meaning of being a male human being.

this boy had been educated since the time he was born. he was being taught by every aspect that could possibly be taught in the year he went through. guided in every step he walked on, but ignoring the surroundings was forbidden. his parents were geniuses, great people, idealism holder, and whatever they had was amazingly kept and passed to their kids. thus, the little kid became an obedient kid, thoughtful one or...too thoughtful, and somehow with all of those incredible facilities, he was lacking of something greater, far greater. he didn't know what it was, he just felt it...really intense and deep.

Blour, this is just one of the story he had ever experienced. there are billions more.

as the boy grew up. he learnt a lot of things from his surroundings. the good, the bad, everything...everything he could capture. his skin was likely still the same, but there are unknown and folded matters inside. his personality kept on pushing him to be what he used to be, obedient. but his heart and mind were just crazy. thousands words and feelings are locked so complex that they wanted to breakout. just a few was being spoken, just a few was being unfold. the other was just...buried. all was just blurry, yet clear that he knew which was the greatest graveyard of all his life.

one day, the boy was going around like every other normal kid. shouting, running, laughing, everything. then suddenly, he felt strange from within. it was something new, odd, and...hurt. "something is not right" he thought. slowing down his movement then running for home. leaving every fun that he might have later on. panting...panting...hurt...panting... all he could think is just being alone. he wanted to figure it out. what just struck his body, that feeling of an injury was not fading...not even a glimpse.

he made it. he got home. panicked and frightened, he laid down on his back, because he thought that way, was the most efficient way to find anything that formerly wasn't existed. he tried to find the "new thing" that he got, but...confused. nothing seems to be wrong. the pain was gone. he was relieved but still having the biggest unanswered wonder.

years passed by, without any brief warning, he felt it again. but that time was different, he already had the guts to tell his parents. he already had the knowledge about what he got there. as he told his parents, there was no shock. he couldn't believe that his parents already knew about that matter. they already knew, he was sick.

oh well, he thought that everything would go just fine since his parents already knew about that. tsk, he was wrong. it was really normal with boy at his age to have the urge to do a lot of new things, challenging things. his parents were always be cooperative with his activities as long as they're positive, until that words came out..."you don't need to think about those things, you sickness will come back." a huge silence was just like fell down from the sky.

"what? do you mean I have to give it up? and the other things too? I know what my sickness is. and it is laid deep down in my stomach...the center of power. YOU KNOW? if I gave up this little dream because of this sickness, it will be just the same as I give up on everything that is related to power. and which one of those activities that I have which doesn't need power? NONE! NONE!!" he screamed, he cried, he was furious. "it's not yet finished. there're more! I am a man. that is my fate to take responsibility of those heavy things. it's decided for a man to be more superior in power. and now what? I've lost them? what am I to live now? TELL ME! TELL ME!!" he sobbed out loud, yet nobody noticed. his face was just plain. with a delicate smile he put on, he swallowed the bitterness...of his unspoken thoughts. he was really sick.