was one of my dreams to live in a house with more than one floor, not literary one floor of course. who would believe that the dream finally became true? pfffft please, I would. even if that'd be not the house I'm living right now, I will build my own when the time comes. but, gladly, the fact that I'm living in a house with a second floor is not deniable. I'm really grateful of it. very much. thank you to my parents who did an upgrade to our house. few days after the transition of 2012, the upgrade was finally done. I was sooooooooooo happy. the thrill of having a new atmosphere filled me up. I was really excited to move upstairs immediately. after having the same atmosphere since the past seven or eight years ---because the house had been renovated once before---
now, it's been roughly five months since I moved upstairs. the atmosphere is different. it really is. but it's not like what I'd expected. nothing's too wrong with my room. it is comfy, simple, and oh, maybe it's too comfy that I am becoming lazier. because every time I am in my room, it's like I've lost the mood to move my body. not always, but most of the time.
and today, I was thinking that I've forgotten about the reasons why I wanted to be on the second floor. the very first reason is I will get more privacy. because the door lock on my old room is broken and my family was
the next reason is, I will be able to see everything from the higher ground. and it's great. I can also just lay on the floor and looking at the sky which is one of my hobby. the best thing is, I've ever climbed on the roof just to stargaze which I saw couples of shooting stars. that was amazing. thanks to my light-weighted body that the roof-tile didn't crack up.
and there are some more reasons which I would not expose to you, Blour. sorry for that. so, the real deal about this post are about the things I've been feeling since I moved upstairs.
like I've mentioned before, I become a lazier guy. that's just sad. since I'm having an after-exam-break, I couldn't use the time to do things efficiently. I've ever thought why my life is so messed up. I couldn't control myself. I just keep doing nothing. just browsing and playing games. my body won't grow optimum if it keeps like this. gosh! I sometimes I hate myself so much.
besides that laziness, here's the other big thing. when I feel, you know, lonely or gloomy it gets more intense when I am upstairs. why? why? *pleading*
the saddest thing is I feel somehow far from my parents and somehow there is a wall built in between. even it's only upstairs-downstairs far, since 80% of the time I spend in the house is being upstairs, no wonder I feel that way. or maybe I'm just exaggerating it. anyway, I still don't want this to happen.
so I guess, when you dare to dream, you dare to face the change.
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